Men At Work !!!!

YOU MAY BE AN ENGINEER...

2011-12-03T21:41:00.000+05:30

Dedicated to all my engineer friends

If you refer to your spouse as "\woman at home.wife,"
If your favorite TV show is "Mr. Wizard" instead of "Baywatch,"
If when your family is expecting, you are more interested in the ultra-sound equipment than the test results,
If when someone asks "What's new?" you answer "C over lambda,"
If you know Bill Gates' e-mail address, and don't remember your own,
If you are always asking your friends from marketing to hold two leads to a giant capacitor,
If you find your head nodding up and down every time you read Dilbert,
If your pocket is full of too many mechanical pencils,
If when your 3-year old asks "Why is the sky blue?" you start explaining it to them,
If you can explain which direction the water spins as you flush the toilet and why,
If you go to the air show, and you start calculating how fast the sky divers are falling,
you may be an engineer; if you start telling all the people around you, you definitely are.
If you need a spreadsheet to figure out who owes what for lunch,
If you plan your family vacation on a Gantt chart,
If you pre-plan your route on a map of the exhibits through the annual computer show at Moscone Center,
If you read PC World and Popular Mechanics while on vacation,
If you are willing to debate for two hours the possible results of an experiment that
takes five minutes to run,
If you know the altitudes at which you must turn off electronic devices on an airplane, and why,
If on a camping trip, your spouse starts complaining about bug "bites" and you respond that "Yes, we do need more memory in our computer,"
If Dilbert is your hero
If you stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE
If you want an 8X CDROM for Christmas
If you can name 6 Star Trek episodes
If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail
If your wrist watch has more computing power than a 486DX2-50
If your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the decimal point in the right place
If you look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys
If you introduce your wife as "mylady@home.wife"
If your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner
If you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie
If you use a CAD package to design your son's Pine Wood Derby car
If you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts
If, at Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string
If you window shop at Radio Shack
If your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest Sci-Fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies
If you have "Dilbert" comics displayed anywhere in your work area
If you carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test that actually takes five minutes to run
If you are convinced you can build a phazer out of your garage door opener and your camera's flash attachment
If you don't even know where the cover to your personal computer is
If you have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven
If you know the direction the water swirls when you flush
If you own "Official Star Trek" anything
If you have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's inside
If a team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception
If you ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project
If you are currently gathering the components to build your own nuclear reactor
If you own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts
If you have never backed-up your hard drive
If you are aware that computers are actually only good for playing games, but are afraid to say it out loud
If you truly believe aliens are living among us
If you have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance
If you have ever purchased an electronic appliance "as-is"
If you see a good design and still have to change it
If the salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions
If you still own a slide rule and you know how to work it
If the thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never enters your mind
If you own a set of itty-bitty screw drivers, but you don't remember where they are
If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires
If you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal
If you have more toys than your kids
If you need a checklist to turn on the TV
If you have introduced your kids by the wrong name
If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work
If your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight
If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you rush up to the front to fix it
If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary
If you have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery Channel and have seen most of the shows already
If you have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what RPN stands for
If your father sat 2 inches in front of your family's first color TV with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, and you grew up thinking that was normal
If you know how to take the cover off of your computer, and what size screw driver to use
If you can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting
If people groan at the party when you pick out the music=7F
If you can't remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time this week
If you did the sound system for your senior prom
If your checkbook always balances
If your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone
If you have more friends on the Internet than in real life
If you thought the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the Mission Controllers
If you think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep
If you spend more on your home computer than your car
If you know what http:/ stands for
If you've ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio
If you have a neatly sorted collection of old bolts and nuts in your garage
If your three year old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to explain atmospheric absorption theory
If your lap-top computer costs more than your car
If your 4 basic food groups are: 1. Caffeine 2. Fat 3. Sugar 4. Chocolate

Engineer Again . . .

2011-12-03T21:34:00.004+05:30

An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

There are four engineers driving home from a car donation warehouse: a mechanical engineer, a chemical engineer, an electrical engineer and a computer engineer. The car breaks down.

"Sounds to me as if the pistons have seized. We'll have to strip down the engine before we can get the car working again," says the mechanical engineer.

"Well," says the chemical engineer, "it sounded to me as if the fuel might be contaminated. I think we should clear out the fuel system."

"I thought it might be a grounding problem," says the electrical engineer, "or maybe a faulty plug lead."

They all turn to the computer engineer who had said nothing. "Well, what do you think?"

"Ummm - how about if we all get out of the car and get back in again?"

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

TOP 20 ENGINEERS' TERMINOLOGIES

1. A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED - We are still pissing in

the wind.

2. EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE

PROBLEM - We just hired three kids fresh out of college.

3. CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION - We know who to blame.

4. MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH - It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.

5. CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS DELIVERED ASSURED - We are so far behind

schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered.

6. PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE - The darn thing blew

up when we threw the switch.

7. TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING - We are so surprised that the

stupid thing works.

8. THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED - The only person who

understood the thing quit.

9. IT IS IN THE PROCESS - It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about

hopeless.

10. WE WILL LOOK INTO IT - Forget it! We have enough problems for now.

11. PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL - Let's spread the responsibility for the screw up.

12. GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING - We'll listen to what you have to say

as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already done.

13. GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION - I can't wait to hear this bull!

14. SEE ME or LET'S DISCUSS - Come into my office, I'm lonely.

15. ALL NEW - Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.

16. RUGGED - Too damn heavy to lift!

17. LIGHTWEIGHT - Lighter than RUGGED.

18. YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - One finally worked.

19. ENERGY SAVING - Achieved when the power switch is off.

20. LOW MAINTENANCE - Impossible to fix if broken.

Inspirational Quote - For Professionals - 2

2011-07-18T20:30:00.000+05:30

Inspirational Quote - For Professionals

2011-07-18T07:39:00.000+05:30

An old man was sitting with his 25 years old son in train.
Train was about to leave the station.

All passengers were settling down their seat.
As train started a young man was filled with lot of joy & curiosity.

He was sitting on window side.
He went out one hand & felt passing air. He shouted, "Dad see all trees are going behind".

Old man smiled & admired son's feelings.
Beside young man; one couple was sitting & listening to all conversion between father & son.

They were little awkward with attitude of 25 years old man behaving like a small kid.

Suddenly young man again shouted, "Dad see pond & animals. Clouds moving with train".

Couple was watching young man with embarrassment.
Then it started raining & some water drops touched young man's hand.

He was filled with joy & closed his eyes.
He shouted again," Dad it's raining, water is touching me, see dad".

Couple couldn't help themselves & asked the old man.
"Why don't you visit the Doctor & get treatment for your son."

Old man said,

" Yes, We are coming from hospital. Today only my son got his eye sight for first time in his life".

Moral: "Don't draw conclusions until you know all the facts".

ગુજરાતીઓની ખાસિયતો...

2011-06-23T20:37:00.000+05:30

વધેલા શરીરવાળા ગુજરાતીઓ માટે કસરત એટલે જમ્યા પછી પાનના ગલ્લા સુધી ચાલતાં જવું તે. મોઢામાં પાન કે મસાલો દબાવી કલાકો સુધી વિષયવિહીન ચર્ચાઓ કરવામાં ગુજરાતીઓની માસ્ટરી છે. પાનના ગલ્લા અને ચાની કીટલીઓ એ ગુજરાતીઓ માટે વૈચારિક આદાન-પ્રદાન માટેના આદર્શ સ્થાનકો છે. સાચો સમાજવાદ આ બે જગ્યાઓએ જ જોવા મળે છે. અહીંયા ગાડી, સ્કૂટરવાળા સાથે જ મજૂર પણ ઊભો રહી ચા પીતો હોય છે. (આ વાત પર બે કટિંગ ચા થઈ જાય, હોં ભઈ!)
દરેક ગુજરાતી મા-બાપને તેમના સંતાનોને ડોક્ટર, એન્જિનિયર કે સી.એ.બનાવવામાં જ રસ હોય છે. સંતાનોની કરિયર મા-બાપ જ નક્કી કરે છે. કોઈ ગુજરાતી મા-બાપને એવું કહેતા સાંભળ્યા નથી કે 'મારે મારા દીકરાને કલાકાર બનાવવો છે, મારે મારી દીકરીને ચિત્રકાર બનાવવી છે, મારો દીકરો ફોજમાં જશે, મારી દીકરીને એથ્લિટ બનાવવી છે, મારા દીકરાને ફેલ્પ્સ જેવો તરવૈયો બનાવવો છે.' (નાટક-ચેટક, કવિતા, સાહિત્ય-લેખનના રવાડે ચઢેલા છોકરાંવને તો આઉટલાઈનના કહેવાય છે, હોં ભઈ !)
રૂપિયા કમાવા સિવાય બીજો કોઈ પણ શોખ ન ધરાવતા ગુજરાતીઓનો એક શોખ ખૂબ જાણીતો છે રજાઓમાં ફરવા જવાનો અને તે પણ સાથે ખૂબ બધા નાસ્તા લઈને. જ્યારે અને જ્યાં પણ ફરવા જઈએ ત્યારે ડબ્બાઓના ડબ્બાભરીને સેવમમરા, ઢેબરાં,ગાંઠિયાં,પૂરીઓ, અથાણાં સાથે લઈને નીકળીએ છીએ. ઘર બદલ્યું હોય એટલો બધો સામાન લઈ ટ્રેનમાં ખડકાઈએ છીએ અને ટ્રેન ઉપડે કે પંદર જ મિનિટમાં રાડારાડી કરતાં નાસ્તાઓ ઝાપટવા મંડીએ છીએ અને ઢોળવા મંડીએ છીએ. ગુજરાતીઓના ફરવાના શોખના કારણે પરદેશની ટૂરમાં ગુજરાતી થાળી મળતી થઈ ગઈ છે. જો ગુજરાતીઓ ફરવાનું બંધ કરી દે તો બધી જ ટ્રાવેલ્સ એજન્સીઓ અને પેકેજ ટૂર, કપલ ટૂરવાળાઓનું ઉઠમણું થઈ જાય. (આપણે ફરવાની સાથે ફરવાની સલાહ આપવાના પણ શોખીન છીએ. નવસારી સુધી પણ નહીં ગયેલો માણસ નૈનિતાલ કેવી રીતે જવું તેની સલાહ આપી શકે, હોં ભઈ!)

ગુજરાતીઓના લેટેસ્ટ બે શોખ. એક - ટુ વ્હીલર અને બીજો - મોબાઈલ. જગતમાં સૌથી વધારે ટુ વ્હીલર ગુજરાતમાં ફરે છે. આપણું ચાલે એક રૂમમાંથી બીજા રૂમમાં જવા માટે પણ ટુ-વ્હીલર વાપરીએ. પહેલાના જમાનામાં એવું કહેવાતું તું કે 'દેવું કરીને પણ ઘી પીવું.'હવે એવું કહેવાય છે કે 'દેવું કરીને પણ બાઈક લેવું.' ગુજરાતીઓના 'દિલની સૌથી નજીક' જો કોઈ હોય તો તે છે મોબાઈલ (કેમકે આપણે મોબાઈલને હંમેશાં શર્ટના ઉપલાં ખિસ્સામાં જ રાખીએ છીએ.) જાત-જાતના મોબાઈલ,ભાતભાતની રિંગટોનનો આપણને જબરજસ્ત ક્રેઝ છે. મોબાઈલની સૌથી વધુ સ્કિમ આપણા ગુજરાતમાં જ છે અને તેનો સૌથી વધુ લાભ પણ ગુજરાતીઓ ઉઠાવે છે. જો સ્કિમમાં 'ફ્રી' લખ્યું તો તો'ખ…લ્લા…સ'. રાત્રે દસથી સવારે છ,'મોબાઈલથી મોબાઈલ ફ્રી' એવી સ્કિમ જાહેર થાય એટલે ગુજરાતીઓ મચી જ પડે.. બાજુ-બાજુમાં બેઠા હોય તો પણ મોબાઈલથી મોબાઈલ વાતો કરે ! (હે…લો…, અને જ્યારે બિલ આવે ત્યારે કંપનીવાળા જોડે સૌથી વધુ બબાલ પણ આપણે જ કરીએ છીએ, હોં ભઈ !)

ગુજરાતીઓની સ્વભાવગત ખાસિયત પણ અનોખી છે. આપણે એવર ઓપ્ટિમિસ્ટ એટલે કે સદાય આશાવાદી માણસો છીએ. શેરબજાર ક…ડ…ડ…ડ…ભૂ...સ…કરતું તૂટે તો પણ આપણે આશા રાખીએ છીએ કે 'કશો વાંધો નહીં, કાલે બજાર ઉપર આવી જ જશે.' આ સાથે આપણે ગુજરાતીઓ એટલા જ ખમીરવંતા પણ છીએ. ભૂકંપ આવે, પૂર આવે કે બોમ્બ બ્લાસ્ટ થાય,આપણે ત્યાં બીજા દિવસથી તો બધું રાબેતા મુજબ….
ગુજરાતીઓની એક સૌથી મોટી ખાસિયત, ખૂબી, વિશેષતા, વિલક્ષણતા એ છે કે આપણે ગુજરાતીઓ ક્યારેય પણ કોઈનાથી ઈમ્પ્રેસ થતા નથી. સાદા શબ્દોમાં કહીએ તો આપણે ક્યારેય કોઈથી ઘીસ ખાતા નથી. ગમે તેવો મોટો ચમરબંધી હોય પણ આપણે તેનાથી અંજાઈ જતા થી. 'એ લાટસા'બ હોય તો એના ઘેર, મારે શું ?' આવી તાસીર જ આપણને 'જીદ કરી દુનિયા બદલવાની'શક્તિ આપે છે અને તેના લીધે જ ગુજરાતની ધરતી પર ગાંધીજી, સરદાર અને ધીરુભાઈ જેવી હસ્તીઓ પાકી છે. (શું કહો છો, બરાબરને ભઈ?)
હાચુ કઉં તો મને તો ઍક ગુજરાતી હોવાનો બહું ગર્વ છે, તમને છે?
જો હા તો, ઍક સાચા ગુજરાતી તરીકે તમે પણ આપણી આ 'ગુજરાતી ગૌરવ ગાથા' ને આગળ ધપાવો.

Woman: What I Want in a Man

2011-06-19T19:41:00.003+05:30

What I Want in a Man, Original List:

1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover .

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 36)

1. Nice looking
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Wants to talk to me.
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Has at least one shirt with the arms cut out
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Loves to go for drives
10. Seeks romance at least 3 times a week

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42)

1. Not too ugly
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52)

1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't retell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7 . Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62)

1. Doesn't scare small children

2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72)

1. Breathing

2. Doesn't miss the toilet

Engineer again...

2011-06-19T19:29:00.001+05:30

A quality engineer married an average girl.
After two years of tough life with her, finally

Engineer got angry and sent a note to her father-in-law stating that

"YOUR PRODUCT IS MEETING MY REQUIREMENTS"

The smart father-in-law replies,

"WARRANTY EXPIRED MANUFACTURE NOT RESPONSIBLE"

TRUCK PAINTERS

2011-06-19T12:38:00.000+05:30

Here are the 8 pictures of European trucks whose trailers are decorated to look like the sides are missing and the products they are hauling are painted on the sides and back.

The first one is of a bottle of beer and looks so real, like it is coming out the side of the trailer.

The second is of a canvas tote bag.

The third is of Pepsi cases and they are all stacked on the ceiling, and the bottom of the trailer is empty.

The fourth is of another truck with the windshield facing the back, a driver painted in the driver's seat looking back over his shoulder to appear like he is driving backwards. (Now this one is just plain scary, even when the German reads 'On the wrong way?')...

The fifth one is of an aquarium with fish swimming in it.

The sixth one is of a bookshelf with books lined up in it and a post-it-note with an advertisement on it, probably for the company that sells the books.

The seventh one is for Pringles-Hot & Spicy. The 'inside' of the trailer has the appearance of having been through a fire.

& The Last One
----
---
---
--
--
--
Best bus paint job Ever!

Small note regarding - 5 'S'

2011-05-03T08:20:00.002+05:30

MEANING OF 5S

1. Segregation – Sorting out ( SEIRI)

2. Arrangement (SEITON)

3. Cleaning (SEISO)

4. Maintenance of standards (SEIKETSU)

5. Discipline (SHITSUKE)

55 for Housekeeping and workplace management

· Housekeeping is a show to visitors-auditors

· Always a second priority

· Responsibility – everyone and who is disordering – everyone

To increase productivity, quality of product housekeeping is essential

5S is a participative program

- For improving our work, environment and total quality

- It is a base for continual improving in organization

- It is a systematic approach to good housekeeping

WHY HOUSEKEEPING IS REQUIRED

1. Workplace become clean and better organized

2. Shop floor and office operation become easier and safer

3. Result are visible to everyone, inside and outsiders

4. Visible results, enhance generation of new ideas

5. People are automatically disciplined

6. Proud of clean and organized workplace

7. Resultant good company image generates more business to company

SIGNIFICANT BENEFITS

1. Happier employees with high moral

2. Greater people involvement

3. Low employee turnover

4. Increase number of suggestions

5. Better use of floor place

6. Less WIP- Work in progress and inventories

7. Better flow of work

8. Low machine breakdown rates

9. Low accident rates

10. High yield of materials

11. High product quality

5S is a people oriented and practice oriented approach

WHY 5S MOVEMENT?

1. Human being feel good if workplace is clean and well organized

2. Helps in reducing time

a. For searching things (1/3 of time people wasting in searching – Out of 16 hrs )

b. For handling

3. Helps in reducing

a. Waste, inconsistencies and strain

b. Unnecessary items and reserve stock

c. Space requirement

d. Machine downtime

e. Rejection / Rework

f. No. of accidents

Side effects of Systematic working

2011-04-17T08:59:00.000+05:30

After completion of Lanka War Hanumanji was enjoying LTA with his
friends. He got an email on his laptop from Accounts requesting him to
clear his dues before 31st March - dues related to his tour for bring
Sanjivani Booti for Laxmanji. He ignored the first mail.
But after 3 - 4 reminders in two days time & receiving a call on CUG
Mobile from Accounts Dept., he had to fly to Ayodhya canceling his
leave.

He submitted:- TA, DA Bill, Bills of Sushen Vaidya, Hospital Charges
incurred for Bharatji when he met with an accident during his travel,
Cost of Sanjeevani Booti for Laxmanji, Transport charges

(1) Where is your tour sanction report ? Asked the HR & ADMIN Dept.
Hanumanji got it done by requesting to concerned officials 2 or 3 times.

(2) Hanumanji claimed T.A. bill for air travel - but he was given only
second class sleeper charges. And all other expenses on
medical,Sanjeevani Booti, Fee of Sushen Vaidya were not reimbursed.

When he asked for the reasons, he was told that
(a) As per his designation, he is entitled for IInd class sleeper only.
(b) He can not get claim for other things as he does not have bills.

Then Hanuman approached Shri Rama and explained to him about the
deduction on his tour expense report : Then Ramji ordered the related
official to pay for Air travel & other charges as claimed by
Hanumanji. The officer came with the rule book & told Shri Ramji
"These rules are created by the grand father of Dasharathji, If you
want to overrule your forefathers I don't have any problem." Ramji
became speechless.
So he thought for another way to compensate Hanuman. He called
Hanumanji & gave him the claimed amount in cash, But how can Hanumanji
take cash money from Ramji ?
Hanumanji told " How can I take money from you for treating Laxmanji?
Laxmanji is equally reverend to me as you are. "

In his heart of hearts Hanumanji thought why he listened to accounts
fellow, cut short his LTA, completed all the formalities & put Shriram
in such an awkward position where he has to offer money to me.

Hanumanji continued his work with the same attachment as he used to
after this incidence also.

Hanuman was almost a god, but for us mortals, learnt a different
lesson & that was

MORAL OF THE STORY :
"NOT to do anything without proper sanctions FROM HR & IMMEDIATE BOSS
: Whatever may be the urgency or importance of the job" At the most
Laxmanji will die - nothing more will happen.

Only GOD can understand our problems !!!!!

2011-04-17T08:56:00.000+05:30

Swarg k dwar pe 3 log khade the....

God : Sirf 1 hi andar ja sakta hai....

1st : Main Brahmin hu, sari umar
aapki seva ki hai. Swarg pe mera hak hai....

2nd : Main Doctor hu, sari umar logo ki seva ki hai. Swarg pe mera haq hai....

3rd : Mai ne sari umar Company mein kam kiya hai.... Aur......

God :Buss......... aage kuch mat bol.... Rulaayega kya pagle..? Andar aa ja......... Tere forwarded mails, follow-ups, promotion nahi milne ka wo 4 saal, month end, quarter end, year ends me woh night shifts, data nahi milne se doosra departments se panga, CTC se zaada deductions, raat me ghar jane ka lafda , family ko na time dene ki frustrations, boss se meetings, delivery dates, week ends mein kaam etc etc... mere ko senti kar diya yaar..aaja jaldi andar aaja..

Engineers are at their best

2011-04-17T08:47:00.000+05:30

Best PC Illusion

2011-02-13T12:34:00.000+05:30

Follow the instructions:

1. Relax and concentrate on the 4 small dots in the middle of the picture for about 30-40 seconds

2. Then, take a look at a wall near you (any smooth, single coloured surface)

3. You will see a circle of light developing

4. Start blinking your eyes a couple of times and you will see a figure emerging

5. What do you see? Moreover, whom do you see?

I tried this a couple of times, to reconfirm… unbelievable!

What your Birth month means?

2011-02-13T12:26:00.000+05:30

JANUARY

* Ambitious and serious
* Loves to teach and be taught
* Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses
* Likes to criticise
* Hardworking and productive
* Smart, neat and organised
* Sensitive and has deep thoughts
* Knows how to make others happy
* Quiet unless excited or tensed
* Rather reserved
* Highly attentive
* Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds
* Romantic but has difficulties expressing love
* Loves children
* Homely person
* Loyal
* Needs to improve social abilities
* Easily jealous

FEBRUARY

* Abstract thoughts
* Loves reality and abstract
* Intelligent and clever
* Changing personality
* Temperamental
* Quiet, shy and humble
* Low self esteem
* Honest and loyal
* Determined to reach goals
* Loves freedom
* Rebellious when restricted
* Loves aggressiveness
* Too sensitive and easily hurt
* Showing anger easily
* Dislike unnecessary things
* Loves making friends but rarely shows it
* Daring and stubborn
* Ambitious
* Realising dreams and hopes
* Sharp
* Loves entertainment and leisure
* Romantic on the inside not outside
* Supersticious and ludicrous
* Spendthrift
* Learns to show emotions

MARCH

* Attractive personality
* Affectionate
* Shy and reserved
* Secretive
* Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic
* Loves peace and serenity
* Sensitive to others
* Loves to serve others
* Not easily angered
* Trustworthy
* Appreciative and returns kindness
* Observant and assess others
* Revengeful
* Loves to dream and fantasize
* Loves travelling
* Loves attention
* Hasty decisions in choosing partners
* Loves home decors
* Musically talented
* Loves special things
* Moody

APRIL

* Active and dynamic
* Decisive and hasteful but tends to regret
* Attractive and affectionate to oneself
* Strong mentality
* Loves attention
* Diplomatic
* Consoling
* Friendly and solves people's problems
* Brave and fearless
* Adventurous
* Loving and caring
* Suave and generous
* Emotional
* Revengeful
* Agressive
* Hasty
* Good memory
* Moving
* Motivate oneself and the others
* Sickness usually of the head and chest
* Easily get too jealous

MAY

* Stubborn and hard-hearted
* Strong-willed and highly motivated
* Sharp thoughts
* Easily angered
* Attracts others and loves attention
* Deep feelings
* Beautiful physically and mentally
* Firm standpoint
* Easily influenced
* Needs no motivation
* Easily consoled
* Systematic (left brain)
* Loves to dream
* Strong clairvoyance
* Understanding
* Sickness usually in the ear and neck
* Good imagination
* Good debating skills
* Good physical
* Weak breathing
* Loves literature and the arts
* Loves travelling
* Dislike being at home
* Restless
* Hardworking
* High spirited
* Spendthrift

JUNE

* Thinks far with vision
* Easily influenced by kindness
* Polite and soft-spoken
* Having lots of ideas
* Sensitive
* Active mind
* Hesitating
* Tends to delay
* Choosy and always wants the best
* Temperamental
* Funny and humorous
* Loves to joke
* Good debating skills
* Talkative
* Daydreamer
* Friendly
* Knows how to make friends
* Abiding
* Able to show character
* Easily hurt
* Prone to getting colds
* Loves to dress up
* Easily bored
* Fussy
* Seldom show emotions
* Takes time to recover when hurt
* Brand conscious
* Executive
* Stubborn
* Those who loves me are enemies
* Those who hates me are friends

JULY

* Fun to be with
* Secretive
* Difficult to fathom and to be understood
* Quiet unless excited or tensed
* Takes pride in oneself
* Has reputation
* Easily consoled
* Honest
* Concern about people's feelings
* Tactful
* Friendly
* Approachable
* Very emotional
* Tempramental and unpredictable
* Moody and easily hurt
* Witty and sarky
* Sentimental
* Not revengeful
* Forgiving but never forgets
* Dislike nonsensical and unnecessary things
* Guides others physically and mentally
* Sensitive and forms impressions carefully
* Caring and loving
* Treats others equally
* Strong sense of sympathy
* Wary and sharp
* Judge people through observations
* Hardworking
* No difficulties in studying
* Loves to be alone
* Always broods about the past and the old friends
* Likes to be quiet
* Homely person
* Waits for friends
* Never looks for friends
* Not aggressive unless provoked
* Prone to having stomach and dieting problems
* Loves to be loved
* Easily hurt but takes long to recover
* Overly concerned
* Puts in effort in work

AUGUST

* Loves to joke
* Attractive
* Suave and caring
* Brave and fearless
* Firm and has leadership qualities
* Knows how to console others
* Too generous and egoistic
* Taked high pride of oneself
* Thirsty for praises
* Extraodinary spirit
* Easily angered
* Angry when provoked
* Easily jealous
* Observant
* Careful and cautious
* Thinks quickly
* Independent thoughts
* Loves to lead and to be led
* Loves to dream
* Talented in the arts, music and defence
* Sensitive but not petty
* Poor resistance against illnesses
* Learns to relax
* Hasty and rushy
* Romantic
* Loving and caring
* Loves to make friends

SEPTEMBER

* Suave and compromising
* Careful, cautious and organised
* Likes to point out people's mistakes
* Likes to criticize
* Quiet but able to talk well
* Calm and cool
* Kind and sympathetic
* Concerned and detailed
* Trustworthy, loyal and honest
* Does work well
* Sensitive
* Thinking
* Good memory
* Clever and knowledgeable
* Loves to look for information
* Must control oneself when criticising
* Able to motivate oneself
* Understanding
* Secretive
* Loves sports, leisure and travelling
* Hardly shows emotions
* Tends to bottle up feelings
* Choosy especially in relationships
* Loves wide things
* Systematic

OCTOBER

* Loves to chat
* Loves those who loves him
* Loves to takes things at the centre
* Attractive and suave
* Inner and physical beauty
* Does not lie or pretend
* Sympathetic
* Treats friends importantly
* Always making friends
* Easily hurt but recovers tough
* Bad tempered
* Selfish
* Seldom helps unless asked
* Daydreamer
* Very opinionated
* Does not care of what others think
* Emotional
* Decisive
* Strong clairvoyance
* Loves to travel, the arts and literature
* Soft-spoken, loving and caring
* Romantic
* Touchy and easily jealous
* Concerned
* Loves outdoors
* Just and fair
* Spendthrift and easily influenced
* Easily lose confidence

NOVEMBER

* Has a lot of ideas
* Difficult to fathom
* Thinks forward
* Unique and brilliant
* Extraodinary ideas
* Sharp thinking
* Fine and strong clairvoyance
* Can become good doctors
* Careful and cautious
* Dynamic in personality
* Secretive
* Inquisitive
* Knows how to dig secrets
* Always thinking
* Less talkative but amiable
* Brave and generous
* Patient
* Stubborn and hard-hearted
* If there is a will, there is a way
* Determined
* Never give up
* Hardly become angry unless provoked
* Loves to be alone
* Thinks differently from others
* Sharp-minded
* Motivates oneself
* Does not appreciates praises
* High-spirited
* Well-built and tough
* Deep love and emotions
* Romantic
* Uncertain in relationships
* Homely
* Hardworking
* High abilities
* Trustworhty
* Honest and keeps secrets
* Not able to control emotions
* Unpredictable

DECEMBER

* Loyal and generous
* Patriotic
* Active in games and interactions
* Impatient and hasty
* Ambitious
* Influential in organisations
* Fun to be with
* Loves to socialise
* Loves praises
* Loves attention
* Loves to be loved
* Honest and trustworthy
* Not pretending
* Short tempered
* Changing personality
* Not egoistic
* Takes high pride in oneself
* Hates restrictions
* Loves to joke
* Good sense of humor
* Logical

WIFE

2010-12-04T23:34:00.000+05:30

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Lee Majors

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Al Gore

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Mike Tyson

The great question.. which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
George Clooney

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Bill Clinton

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
George W. Bush

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
Rudy Giuliani

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
Michael Jordan

"I've had bad luck with all my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.” The third gave me more children!
Donald Trump

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
Kobe Bryant

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
David Hasselhoff

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Shaquille O’Neal

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Alec Baldwin

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Barack Obama

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Tommy Lee

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Brad Pitt

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
Jimmy Kimmel

“Honey, what happened to ‘ladies first’?” Husband replies, “That’s the reason why the world’s a mess today, because a lady went first!”
David Letterman

“First there’s the promise ring, then the engagement ring, then the wedding ring...soon after....comes Suffer...ing!
Jay Leno

પત્ની ને ખુશ રાખવા ના ઉપાયો

2010-09-11T10:18:00.002+05:30

આમ તો માનનીયબ્રહ્માજીએ અમુક એવા મોડેલ ટેસ્ટીંગ વગર નીચે ધરતી પર મોકલી આપ્યાછે કે ઉપરથી ભગવાન આવીને લાખ યત્ન કરે તોપણ કોઈ વાતે ખુશના થાય. પણ પડ્યું પાનું નિભાવી લેવું એ ભારતીય સંસ્કૃતિછે, અને પુરુષે પોતાની પત્ની ને ખુશ રાખવા વિષયે યથાશક્તિ પ્રયત્ન કરવો જોઈએ. તો અહી પત્ની ને ખુશ રાખવાના થોડાક ઉપાય બતાવ્યાછે. એ તમારે જાણવા જોગ.

1. તમે તમારી પત્ની સાથે વાતચીત કરતા હોવ ત્યારે વચ્ચે ના બોલો.

2. સવારે ઓફિસ જતા મોજા જાતે શોધી લો

3. ઓફિસ થી ઘેર આવી ને મોજા બાથરુમમાં જાતે ધોવા નાખો.

4. સાસુસસરા કે કોઇપણ પિયરીઆ ઘેર આવે તો એક નકલી પૂછડી ચોટાડી જોરજોરથી હલાવો (પણ એમને ચાટવાની કોશિશ ન કરશો!)

5. એ બીજા શહેરની હોય તો એના શહેરની કોઇપણ ખુબી શોધી એના વખાણકરો (અરે, આતો શાયરોનુ શહેર નહી? પેલા કવિ “બેવકુફ” અહી નાં જ નહીં?)

6. એની કોઇપણ સહેલી ના રુપના વખાણ ક્યારેય ન કરો.

7. એની સહેલી ઘેર આવી હોય તો ડ્રોઇંગ રૂમમાં વારેઘડીયે આંટા ન મારો.

8. એની મમ્મીની રસોઇના વખાણ કરો.

9. “હું કેવી લાગુ છુ” નો પ્રમાણિક પણે જવાબ આપવો શકય ના હોય તો એમ કહો કે“ આજે તો તું સાવ જૂદી જ લાગે છે”

10. એના મામાની સરકારમાં બહુ પહોંચ છે એવુ કહો, સાસુ પણ ખુશ રહેશે

11. "તારા પપ્પા બહુ સોશિયલ છે” એવુ મહિને ઓછા મા ઓછુ એક વાર કહો.

12. ટીવી જોતી વખતે: “અરે, જોતો, આ કેટરિના એ તારા જેવી જ હેરસ્ટાઇલ કરી છે ” એવુ કહો.

13. તમારી વાત ટુંક માં કરો.

14. એના પિયરિયા નો ફોન હોય અને “આજે શાક કેવી રીતે દાઝી ગયુ?” એ વિષય પર લાંબી વાતચીત ચાલતી હોય તો તમે તમારા અગત્ય ના કામ પડતા મુકી ધીરજપુર્વક એ ફોન પુરો થાય ત્યાં સુધી રાહ જુઓ.

15. જમવા બેસતી વખતે પાણી જાતે ભરી લો.

16. એની વાત ધ્યાનપુર્વક સાંભળો છો એવુ એટલીસ્ટ બતાવો તો ખરા જ.

17. એક શુ કહેવા આવે તો છાપુ બાજુ પર મુકી વાત સાંભળો.

18. એ વાત કહેતી હોય ત્યારે ટી.વી. મ્યુટ કરી દો!

19. ઉતરન અને ક્રિકેટ મેચ સાથે ચાલતા હોય તો ઉતરન ચાલતી હોય તે ચેનલ મુકો. એ જો ભુલેચુકે સામો વિવેક કરે તો એમ કહો કે “મેચ તો રોજ આવે છે”.

20. એ એમ કહે કે “આજે બહુ ગરમી છે” તો પંખો ફાસ્ટ કરો યાર !

21. એ એમ કહે કે “આજે બહુ થાકી ગઇ છુ” તો તરત કહો કે “ચાલ, આજે બહાર જમવા જઇએ”.

22. એએમકહેકે“આજેરસોઇકરવાનોમુડનથી” તોતરતકહોકે“સાચુકહુ, હુંતોપીઝામંગાવવાનુજવિચારતોહતો”

23. વાતવાત માં એના સોગંદખાવ (તારા સમ, તુ સાચે આજે જુદી લાગે છે!)

24. બેડરુમમાં બામ ની વાસ સહન ના થાય તો ફરિયાદ કર્યા વગર કોક દિવસ ડ્રોઇંગરુમમા સુઇ જાવ.

25. કોઇપણ ફરિયાદ કરવી હોય તો સીધી નહી પણ આડકતરી રીતે કરો જેમકે: દાળ પાણી જેવી હોયતો“ આજે દાળ કંઇક જુદી જ હતી!” અને રોટલી કાચી બને તો “આ વખતે ઘંઉ સારા નથી આવ્યા” એમકહો.

26. અઠવાડિયે એકવાર તો સમય અને સંજોગો જોઇને પૂછીલો કે"કેમ આજે ઢીલી લાગે છે?"
27. શાક સારુ ના બન્યુ હોય તો અંદર ટોમેટો સોસ નાખો, ફરિયાદ ન કરો.
28. એક હાથથી ભાખરી ન તૂટતી હોય તો બીજો હાથ વાપરો ! ભગવાને બે હાથ શેના માટે આપ્યા છે?
29. કામવાળો રજા ઉપર હોય તો ઘર માં એક જ વાર ચા પીવો.
30. સફેદ કપડા ક્યારેય ન ખરીદો.અથવા તો પાન-મસાલા છોડી દો.
31. બેલ વાગે તો દરવાજો ખોલવા તમે જાવ, એમાં કાંઇ વારા થોડા પડાય બોસ!
32. ઓફિસ નુ કામ ઘરે ન લાવો.
33. શકય હોય તો ઘરનુ કામ ઓફિસ લઇ જાવ.
34. તહેવારો પર નવા કપડા ખરીદવા રૂપિયા ઢીલા કરો.
35. એના ડ્રેસ ખરીદવા સાથે જવાનુ એ પોતે કહેતો પણ ટાળજો, છેવટે બન્ને ખુશ રહેશો!
36. નવા ડ્રેસ માં એ જાડી લાગે તો એમ કહેજો કે " આ ડ્રેસ એક સાઇઝ નાનો આવી ગયો લાગે છે"
37. એનો ભાઇ બહુ ઇન્ટેલીજન્ટ છે તેવુ જાહેર કરો .
38. લાલ કપડા માં પોસ્ટ ઓફિસ ના ડબલા જેવી લાગે છે તેવી લોથલ જોક ન મારવી. લાલ કપડા માં સાગરમાં ડિમ્પલ કાપડિયા આવી જ લાગતી હતી એમ કહો.
39. લગ્ન દિવસે સા ચાસોના ના ઘરેણા લાવી આપો.
40. તમે ખરીદેલી વસ્તુની સાચી કિંમત એના મોંઢે બોલવા દો, અને પછી એની બોલેલી કિંમતની આજુબાજુનો કોઇપણ આંકડો પાડી દો. તમે જો ડાહ્યા થઇને પહેલા જ સાચી કિંમત જાહેર કરશો તો "તમેછેતરાયા". એવુ પ્રમાણપત્ર આપશે અથવા એના માટે તમે "કાય મહલ કી વસ્તુ લાવો છો" એ વાત પર મામલો બીચકશે.
41. ઓફિસેથી ઘેર પાછા આવતા પહેલા મોબાઇલ ના ઇનબોક્સ માંથી SMS ડીલીટ કરીને આવો.
42. શક્ય હોય તો મોબાઇલ નુ રીસન્ટ કોલ લીસ્ટ પણ ડીલીટ કરી ને ઘેર આવો.
43. એની મોટી બહેન ના ગંદા-ગોબરા તોફાની છોકરાને જોતા જ તેડી લો, અને કહો "કેટલો ક્યુટ અને નૉટી છે!"
44. તમારા સાસરે કૂતરો રાખ્યો હોય તો એતો તમને ચાટશે જ, મોં નહી બગાડવાનુ, અને એને એની હાજરી માં ભગાડવા નો કે હટ નહીં કહેવાનું.
45. એ રડે તો રૂમાલ નહીં,એને જે જોઇતુ હોય તે લાવી આપો.
46. રક્ષાબંધને સાસરે જ જમવાનુ ભાઇ! બેસતું વર્ષ અને ભાઈબીજ પણ સાસરે જ ઉજવવા. અને રવિવારે સાસરે ના જવું હોય તો ખર્ચો કરી ને બીજે ગમે ત્યાં ફરવા જવાનું.
47. દાળમાંથી કોથમીર અને બીજો કચરો કાઢતા કાઢતા કોઇના બાવડા સુજી ગયા હોય તેવા વૈજ્ઞાનિક પુરાવા નથી, માટે ખોટી ફરિયાદ કરવાનું બંધ કરો.
48. "સાસરૂ સોના ની ખાણ" ની ડીવીડી વસાવી લો.
49. ફોન નું બિલ એના લીધે વધારે આવે છે એવુ કદી ન કહો.
50. મુસાફરી માં બધો સામાન તમે જ ઉપાડો! પોત-પોતાનો સામાન પોતે ઉપાડે એટલી બધી સ્ત્રી સમાનતા હજુ આપણા દેશ માં આવી નથી!
૫૧. ચાલવાથી કોઇપણ અને લગભગ બધી ભારતીય સ્ત્રીઓ થાકી શકે છે. એનો કકળાટ હીલ-સ્ટેશન પર ના કરાય!
૫૨. ઘર નાં ખાવામાં બદલાવ જોવા ઇચ્છતા હોવ તો અઠવાડિયે એક દિવસ ગોગલ્સ પહેરીને જમવા બેસો બોસ!
૫૩. દાળઅનેશાકનોકલરજોઇએનાટેસ્ટવિષેચુકાદોનઆપીદો, આજેજેબન્યુછેતેનબન્યુનથીથવાનું!
૫૪. તૈયાર થવા માં વાર લાગે તો કકળાટ ન કરવો. તમે મોડા પહોંચશો તો લગ્ન અટકી પડવાના નથી. અરે, આજકાલ તો રીસેપ્શનમાં વર-કન્યા જ મોડા પહોંચે છે.
૫૫. છાપું વાંચતા વાંચતા કૂકર ની સીટી ગણવાનું શીખીજાવ.
૫૬. ગેસ બંધ કરતા પણ શીખી જાવ. રસોડા સુધી ચાલવાથી તમારી ફાંદઉતરે તેવુ તે માનતી હોય તો માનવા દો.
૫૭. ડસ્ટ બીન નજીક જઇ કચરો નાખવામાટે છે, દુરથી નિશાનબાજીની પ્રેક્ટીસ કરવા માટે નથી. સમજ્યા? તમારા ખોટા નિશાન ના લીધે કચરાપેટી ની અંદર કરતા બહાર વધારે કચરો દેખાય તો ગમે તેને ગુસ્સો આવે.
૫૮. કોબીના શાકમાં ખાંડ ન નખાય એવો કોઇ કાયદો નથી. ખોટા કાયદા નહી બતાવવાના.
૫૯. શિયાળા માં દહીં ન જામે. તમને વધારે સારુ જમાવતા આવડતુ હોય તોતમે જમાવોને બૉસ! એકાદ દહાડો ખીચડી માં દહીં ન મળે તો ઝાડા ન થઇ જાય.
૬૦. "ટીવી નું રિમોટ ક્યાં પડ્યું છે?" આવા વાહિયાત સવાલો ન કરો.
૬૧. ઉનાળા માં બે જ શાકભાજી મળે છે. બટાકા અને રીંગણ. અને આ બંને તમને નથી ભાવતા તે તમારી સમસ્યા છે.
૬૨. ઘરની પાણીપુરીએ બજારની પાણીપુરી જેવી ના પણ બને, એ ટે ભૈયાના પરસેવાવાળા હાથ ઘરેલાવવા પડે!
૬૩. એ હસીહસીને ફોન પર વાત કરે છે? તો ફો નપીયરિયાનો હશે, બીજી કોઈ શંકા અસ્થાને છે.
૬૪. સ્ત્રીઓ ને ઇલેકટ્રોનિક ગેજેટસ વાપરતા નથી આવડતું, એ વાત અમેરિકન રીસર્ચ થી સાબિત થયેલ છે, માટે એ વિષે તમારે અલગ વ્યાખ્યાન આપવા ની જરૂર નથી.
૬૫. એને કાર ચલાવતા શીખવવાની કોશિશ ન કરશો. ડ્રાઇવિંગ સ્કુલ વાળા ઓને પૈસા આપો અને એ વસુલ થતા જુઓ.
૬૬. એને કાર ચલાવતા નથી આવડતુ તો શું થયુ? રસ્તા માં તમે કોઇની સાથે ભટકાઇ ના પડો તે માટે તમને સુચના આપે તો એમાં એણે શું ખોટું છે?
૬૭. ટુથપેસ્ટ પુરી થવા આવે ત્યારે પેસ્ટ કાઢી આપવી એ પતિ નો ધર્મ છે. આવા ક્ષુલ્લક કામો એ આટલા વર્ષો માં કેમ ન શીખી તેવા તુચ્છ વિચારો ન કરવા.
૬૮. એના પર્સમાંથી તમારે જે જોએ છે તે માંગો, એમ ખાંખાંખોળા કરી કામના વધારો.
૬૯. માંગ્યા વિના તો મા પણ ના પીરસે.આ તો પત્ની છે.
૭૦.ઓફિસે થી ઘેર પાછા આવતા અવશ્ય ફોન કરો, ડાર્લિંગ કાઈ લાવવાનું છે?
૭૧. પીરસતા વાર થાય તો રાહ જુવો,તકિયો ના માંગો.
૭૨. ઘરમાં વોશિંગ મશીન તમારા સ્ટેટસ માટે લીધું છે, કપડા તો રામો જ સારા ધુવે. માટે 'વોશિંગ મશીન નો ખર્ચો કેમ કરાવ્યો?' એવો બેવકૂફ જેવો સવાલ કરવો નહિ.
૭૩. રેલ્વેસ્ટેશને કે એરપોર્ટ પર એને વિદાય કરવા જતી વખતે ક્યારેય મોઢું હસતું ના રાખો. તમારા અરમાનો ને દબાવી રાખતા શીખો.

નોંધ:

૧) આ ઉપાયો અંગે લખનાર કોઈ ગેરેંટી નથી આપતા, તેમજ ઉપાય કારગત ના નીવડે તો આઅંગે કોઈપણ પ્રકારની તકરાર કરાવી નહિ.
૨) આ ઉપાયો મેં અજમાવેલા છે કે નહિ તેવો બેવકુફ જેવો પ્રશ્ન કરવો નહિ. બેવકુફ જેવા પ્રશ્નો પૂછવાની પેટન્ટ મારી પાસે છે.
૩) ઉપર ના ઉપાયો પર પિષ્ટપેષણ કરી સમય બગાડવો નહિ. એટલા સમયમાં પત્ની ની ઘણી સેવા થઇ શકે છે.
૪) કુંવારાઓ માટે શું? એવા વાહિયાત સવાલો અહી ન કરવા.

Goa - Palolem Beach Video

2010-08-08T20:33:00.000+05:30

Working with Monkeys - 2

2010-08-08T18:58:00.002+05:30

Working with Monkeys - 1

2010-08-08T18:44:00.002+05:30

Kya Aapko Hindi Padate Aati Hai !!!

2010-07-11T20:36:00.000+05:30

PURAANI JEANS !!!

2010-07-10T18:22:00.000+05:30

Some of my favorite memories: From childhood into the twenty-first century

Some college memories .... :-) :-) :-)

1. On being Late

"Kab shuru hui class?"

"Attendance ho gayi kya??"

"Kal raat der tak gappe marte rahe yaar"

"Mein kya karu, subah bathroom me koi ghusa hua tha"

"Aab nind nahi khuli to mein kya karu......... bolna ...... kal kya padaya tha isne"

"Kal se pakka class time pe karunga"

"Ek page de na.......... abey pen bhi to de, nahi to kisse likhunga......"

"Kal proxy mari thi kya"

" koi subah kaise aa sakta hai........"

"wo bhi iss class ke liye "

2. During the lecture

"Yesss!!!! Sirrr.......The answer is

........huuuummmmm.......aaaaaaaa............"

"No sir.....I know the answer ......sir...."

"Saala apne aapko Newton samajta hai"

"Abe lecture ko chodd..... Anjali kya lag rahi hai aaj........" HE HE HE HE !! ;))))

"Uski tshirt pe kya likha hai dekh"

"Uske bagal mein nahi baith sakta tha kya.......gadha......."

"mera assignment tere paas hai??"

"Tereko bhookh nahi lag rahi kya??"

"Kya bore kar raha hai. Bola tha canteen chalte hain .."

"Heads, we go canteen , Tails, we go now!!!"

"Boss class khatam hote hi kadak chai chahiye......"

3 Lab

"Expt. 2 likha??"

"last time tu aaya the kya?""

"Karna kya hai??"

"Yeh bhai.....merko pata hota to tere pass kyon aata........"

"Areee tu to bura maan gaya.......chal dikha na.....bhau kyo kata hai...."

4. sessionals Test

"sessionals test???? ......Aree yaar...... "

"Kya...... abe unit test mein itna sara topic hai to final mein kya hoga...."

"Boss..... hogaya......aur nahi ho sakta.......jaan nahi de sakta apni......."

"Oh !!! Itna syllabus cover ho gaya?????"

"Aaj kounsa test hai?"

"Oye Sushil kaha hai......uska roll number mere baad hai.......wo nahi aaya to mein pakka fail...."

After test......

"yaar pada tha....recall nahi kar paya.......chhod na ....... Canteen chalega..." SAHI !!

5. For attendance (less attendance isliye attendance badane ke liye bahane)

"I was in the class, attendence bolna bhool gaya"

"Oye usko thoda khush kar list se tera naam hata dega........"

"Bola tha proxy regularly maar....... Saale tera class karne ka kya faida hua....."

"yaar lag gayi apni to.."

6. Late submission of assignments

"Maine us ko bola thaa ki copy karke mera assgnment bhi saath mein submit kar dena"

"Last date extend hua thaa"

"I didn't know the last date"

"Ab mein kya karu usne mereko bole bina hi submit kar diya......."

"They should allow XEROX........sala system hi kharab hai " :D

7 . After exam

"Yeh bhi syllabus mein thaa kya? Shitt."

"kya bol raha hai yaar..aise karna tha kya"

"Is subject ki reference book kounsi hai"

"1st mein 3 marks.....2nd mein 0.......3rd mein 2....... Gaya..........fail pakka......."

"Yaar notice lagte hi hata dena........wo kya soochegi mera marks dekh kar......"

8 . VIVA (b4 exam)

"Submission ab tak hua nahi hai , VIVA kaise doonga"

"Aeee......Akash.....terese kya kya poocha....mood kaisa hai.."

"External ke ghar mein bacche nahi hai kya......."

"Dekh Boss!! external bhi aadmi hai. Usko pata hai students ki ab tak preparation nahi hui hai" :D

9 . VIVA (General)

"Dekh , tu jo bhi padhega , woh (external) tereko woh nahi poochhnewaala, then watz the point" :D

"Roll no. 46 ki watt laga di hai" (I was Roll no. 46 L )

"External is asking ctlr key ka ascii code kya hai ?"

"Ye kounse unit mein aata hai ?"

10 . Submission

"Ye bhi chhapna hai kya?"

"kaat kaat ke likh le.kaon padhta hai"

"Iska bhi print-out lena hai kya?"

"Jai ho computer baba ki......jai ho Ctrl C - Ctrl V ki......." :D

"Tujhe Sir ka sign aata hai kya?"

11 . convo:

"Ye tune kya likha hai????"

(The best one)

"Jo word samajh mein aa raha hai woh likh, jo nahi samajh mein aa raha hai uska drawing nikal" :D

"Phir bhi, kuch to idea hoga??"

" Maine uska likha hai, mera assignment check ho gaya, tu bhi wohi kar."

"Koi hint........"

"Are baba ghaseet de........na tu samjega na wo........"

12. Exam

"Jo (mujhe) aata hai, woh (paper mein)aata nahi hai; jo nahi aata hai woh NAHI aata hai" :D ..VERY VERY TRUE !!

"ye question 2 saal se nahi poochha hai yaar....to ab kya poochenge"

"ye last time hi poochha thaa......is baar nahi aana chahiye"

"tere paas is ke notes hai??"

"Neend aa rahi mujhe to.thodi der so jata hoo..utha diyo pakka"

"woh chapter... mark weightage 6 marks... (facial ex-pressions speaks the story)"

"nahi samjha to rat le" - PERFECT ONE

"External ka aane ka pura scene hai....... "

"Iss paper mein roll number ke kya order hai........"

"Pichle paper mein kuch to aata tha.......issmein mast lagegi apni....."

"Ek aur din ka gap de dete to kya 3rd World War ho jata tha kya........" I AGREE !! !!

........... bas ek bar wapas lautne ka man karta hai ........

........... Aaj har wo baat yaad aati hai ........

........... kuch buri batein jo ab acchi lagti hain ........

........... kuch batein jo kal ki hi batein lagti hain .......

........... abki baar class attend karne ka man karta hai .......

........... Dopahar ki class mein aakhen band karne ka man karta hai ..........

........... hostel ke chat ki wo raat yaad aati hai ........

........... exam ke time pe wo hasi mazak bahut pyari lagti hai .........

........ exam ke rat k time pe wo pandit ki chaay yaad aati hai .........

.......... tab ki bekar lagne wali photo's chehre pe hasi laati hai ..........

........... Apni galtiyon pe tumse daat khana yaad aata hai. .......

........... Par tumhari galti dekhne ka man karta hai ........

...........Ek aisi subah uthne ka man karta hai........

........... bas ek bar wapas lautne ka man karta hai........

........... bas ek bar aur ........

........... wapas lautne ka man karta hai........

Some college memories,

Don't scold female staff

2010-06-20T06:57:00.001+05:30

Nice Bedsheets

2010-06-12T14:28:00.000+05:30

One Line Humor

2010-05-31T06:51:00.000+05:30

[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.

[5] A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.

[6] Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

[7] Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

[8] You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

[9] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

[10] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

[11] Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

[12] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

[13] Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

[14] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

[15] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

[16] You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.

[17] It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

[18] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.

[19] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

[20] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something

[21] They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!

[22] Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come.

[23]Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

[24]Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

[25]It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs. Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

[26]There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.

[27]There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it!

Quick Vastu Tips

2010-05-21T23:10:00.001+05:30

1. Keep all electrical/heat generating appliances in the SE corner of the room.

2. Do not construct kitchen, toilets and prayer room (puja-room) next to one another.

3. The kitchen should not be directly in front of the main door.

4. Do not keep broken mirrors, and watches and electrical gadgets which are either lying idle or out of order in the house.

5. Mirrors, sinks, wash-basins and taps should preferably be along the NE wall.

6. The safe should open towards the north or the east. So, keep it along south or the west.
7. The toilet seat should preferably be along the North-South axis. The septic tank can be in the NW or the SE corner of the House.

Avoid having garbage dump, street-light pole, or boulders in front of the main gate or door. Your main door should not be opposite the main door of another house.

8. The number of doors and windows should be more on the ground floor and less on the upper floor.

9. The image of Gajalaxmi at the main door is considered auspicious.

10. The north-east corner is the face house and should always be kept clean.

11. While cleaning the floor with any disinfectant, a little sea salt should be added.

12. Students should study facing the north or east.

13. Do not sit or sleep under a beam. Do not keep or hang paintings depicting war, crime, violence, unrest, agony or distress.

14. Construct the front door in such a manner as to avoid the fall of a shadow on it. Grow a tulsi or basil plant in front of the house.

15. Do not have any cactus in the house. Having it outside the boundry is good. Rain water or drainage should flow towards NE-East-North.

16. Material to be used in the construction of a house or even commercial building should always be new, except when renovating. Elderly people are always more comfortable in the South-West corner.

17. The height of the building should reduced from the SW to the NE.

18. Do not have a toilet or prayer room (puja room) under a staircase.

19. Do not dig well in the middle of a house or plot. It is very inauspicious.

Watching Dirty Films

2010-05-08T16:33:00.002+05:30

The Boss

2010-05-08T16:06:00.001+05:30

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.

The ghost says: Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each"
So the eager senior manager shouted, I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries. "Pfufffff and he was gone.

Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails."Pfufffff and he was also gone.

The boss calmly said, "I want these two idiots back right now ." Pfuffff ……….:p

Lesson :- ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSSES TO SPEAK FIRST

Squba, world's first swimming car

2010-05-06T07:34:00.001+05:30

Funny Commercials

2010-04-11T16:37:00.000+05:30

The Best one is ....

Waves vs lighthouses

2010-01-16T22:06:00.002+05:30

Solutions of Maths Problems

2010-01-15T08:21:00.000+05:30

Best movie stunt ever --- South Indian style ! ! !

2010-01-12T22:21:00.002+05:30

Some W a c k y Quotes

2010-01-09T21:53:00.000+05:30

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it
seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an
hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S
relativity.
- Albert Einstein

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working
the moment you get up in the morning and does not
stop until you get into the office.

- Robert Frost

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's
there to appreciate it.

- Franklin P. Jones

We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain
the success of those we don't like?

- Jean Cocturan

It matters not whether you win or lose; what
matters is whether I win or lose.

- Darrin Weinberg

Life is pleasant.
Death is peaceful.
It's the transition that's troublesome.

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will
remember you when he is
in trouble again.

Complex problems have simple, easy to understand
wrong answers.

It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it
creative problem solving.

Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know
where to shop.

Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again,
neither does milk.

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Forgive your enemies but remember their names.

The number of people watching you is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Dont worry that the world ends today, its already
tomorrow in Australia !

Funny Pictures

2010-01-09T21:26:00.000+05:30

This is miracle

2010-01-09T21:14:00.000+05:30

Reason why in COMPANIES, CD drives are disabled

2010-01-09T21:11:00.000+05:30

Survival of the fittest

2010-01-09T20:52:00.002+05:30

Too Much Diet ?

2010-01-07T22:59:00.000+05:30

Amazing Antartic

2010-01-07T22:38:00.000+05:30

Engineering....the untold truth....

2010-01-07T21:50:00.001+05:30

1. Some Basic definitions..

Engineering College : Place where you're punished for
getting good HSC marks.
Babe : After two years in Engineering, anything
remotely female qualifies
for that title...
Senior : Guy who got ragged as junior and wanna get
some payback...
Fresher : Guy who has to ask where the canteen is...
Really Dumb Fresher : Guy who asks a senior where the
canteen is.
Really Really Dumb fresher : Guy who follows the
senior to the canteen.
Ragging : The unfortunate fate of the previous idiot.
Evasive action : Watch the juniors when any seniors
come nearby. (No one
runs faster than a fresher. NO ONE.)
Lectures : Waste of time..physical presence is a
must...only meant for
sleeping, completing assignemtns & genral TP
Tutions : What you take when you don't waste enough
time....
Professor : Person paid to put students to sleep.
Practicals : 60 to 90 minutes in which you watch the
girls do your
experiment,and usually destroy a
considerable array of lab equipment.
Hopeless Practical : The practical in which there are
no girls in your group
simply look blankly at each
other, fiddle with the equipment, and finally copy the
readings. from the
girls of course...).

2. The Truth about exams....
Timing...when ur non enginering GF/BF is free to enjoy
while u slog with
submisisons & exams
Irony : The guy who copied your entire paper passes
and you flunk.
Critical Calculation : Summing up the marks you
attempted worth in the
exam...
KT : Makes you suicidal..the WAY of life...
Year Drop : Makes dad homicidal.
Reverification : A cruel joke. (results of which come
after you give the KT
exam).

An engineer's 10 engg commandments of Life
1. Thou shalt study only during the preparatory leave.
2. Thou shalt never write thy assignments thyself.
3. Thou shalt begin writing thy journals only on the
morning of submission.
4. Thou shalt treat all marks above 40 as bonus.
5. Thou shalt have at least 70 per cent attendance in
the canteen.
6. Thou shalt pass GRACEfully.
7. Thou shalt always be an OUTstanding student.
8. Thou shalt give thy attendance without being
present...PROXY is a MUST
9. If thou can't convince them , confuse them.
10. Thou shalt start every sentence with a
four-lettered word.

4. The Years of Engineering
F.E. Fond of Engineering
S.E. Sick Of Engineering
T.E. Tired of Engineering
B.E. Balls to Engineering
is it worth it???

Engineers Anthem:
Hum Honge All Clear,Honge AllC lear, Honge All Clear
Ek Din, OH-HO, Mann me hai vishwas, pura hai vishwas,
hum hoge all clear ek din

Top two Engineering Rumors:
'Did you hear the results are being put up today at
5:30pm'
'Did you hear the exams are postponed by two weeks,
its been put up at Notice Board'

The most dreaded acronym for Engineers:
ATKT ( After Trying Keep Trying)

The most important criteria while selecting an
engineering college:
Girl to Boy ratio ( if more than0 .025% then that
college is engineers dream
come true)

Engineers at work:
Assignments solved by one and then carrying out mass
transfer operations
throughout the class

The most important machine for Engineers:
Xerox Machine (Without which assignment completion
wouldn't be possible)

The most important table in an Engineer's House:
The glass table ( to carry out GT operations, during
Night Duty.)

The only queue an Engineer is familiar with:
Submission Queue

An Engineer's favourite watch:
Bird Watch !

Common Engineering Dialogues after a paper:
'What is this yaar, more than 70% of the paper was out
of the syllabus'
'This was the worst paper set in the entire
engineering history'
'I am failing....I got screwed royally'

Feeling after Completing Engineering:
Survived Engineering !!!!!!!!!!!

What you will learn in Engineering
· You can study hard and still fail
· You can not study and pass
· Multiple choice does not mean easy
· Earlier batches of engineers were lucky!
· Six exams can be written in 4 days, but it hurts
· You can skip all the classes, study for 15 minutes
before the final and
still do better than an arts
student in any arts class
· Pi to six decimal places
· Judging by my fellow students, engineers are either
drunks or geeks
· Everyone is someone else's wierdo
· Front Row people are wierd
· Those who can, do, those who can't, teach
· A 95.75% can be an A
· An 80.1% can be an A+
· You can kill your neighbors with a 9 volt battery

Its raining . . .

2010-01-07T21:43:00.000+05:30

Ek dum tapori

2010-01-07T21:28:00.002+05:30

Apun ek ishtory sunaenga:

Julie aur Sulie do ben log rehta hai. Ben log bolay to matlab ki judwaan.

Lekin dono mein farq bolay to ek dum solid. Julie ek dum Smart, jhakaas

aur

Sulie ek dum halki re. To kya hota hai maloom? Sulie to bachpan se, woh
kya

bolte hain usko ..Stubborn ..bole to ek dam ziddi.... rehti hai.

To julie jo bhi maangti hai na...Sulie ko woh maang ta-ich hai.

Julie ko gudiya mili to Sulie ko bhi maangta tha...

Julie ko kangan mila to Sulie ko bhi mangta hai.

Aisa karte karte bees saal guzar gaya baap.

To na kya huwa maloom? Julie ka shaadi ek dum karod-pati ladka ke saath

hota hai. Aur Sulie ek phateechar puntoosh se shaadi banaata hai.

Shaadi ke baad Julie Fridge leti hai baap. Sulie bhi pati se fridge
maangti

hai.Pati bechara gharib. Lekin biwi ko khush karne ke waaste woh Fridge

khareed leta hai. Abhi Julie agle maheene Air Conditioner khareed dalti

hai. Sulie bhi jidd karti hai baap.

Bolti: AC nahin liya to khud ko tapka daloongi.

Pati bechara aur paise udhaar leta hai aur AC khareed leta hai.

Ab Julie car khareedti hai. Sulie bhi zidd karti hai. Pati ka dimaag

satak-ta hai lekin phir bhi saala karega kya, pita-ji ka zameen bech dalta

hai aur gaadi khareedta hai. Thode dinon ke baad Julie gaadi bech ke Bus

khareedti hai. Sulie Zidd karti hai Bus chahiye merey ko bhee. Abhee pati

solid bhadakta hai baap. Bolta hai "Aye item, ab dimaagh ki dahi mat

bana..bahut ho gaya tera natak kya? Abhi apun tera ek nahin sunenga. Apun

jaa rahela hai"

To Sulie ko chodke woh chala jaata hai. Sulie lekin apni gaadri bech kar

aur paisa market se uthakar bus khareed leti hai.

To Julie aur Sulie apne apne bus main Ek din picnic ko jaata hai.

Bus ko park kar ke woh log ghumne firne ko jaata hai. Wapas aake dekhta
hai

to saala dono bus mein steering wheel ghaib, seat ghaib, gear ghaib...sab

kuch ghaib!! Sulie julie ko dekhti hai aur kuch to bolti hai.

Abhi Ekdum simple koschan: Sulie Julie ko kya bolti hai??

* * * Yeh tu bol-na * * * * *

* * * Abey soch shuntt...... * * *

* * *le dimag kaam nahi kar rela hai? * * *

* * * Haar maan gaya kya??? * * *

* * * Accha chal bolich dalti hoon: * * *

"NA KUCH TERE BUS MAIN JULIE........ NA KUCH MERE BUS MEIN..."

HR OFFICERS&ENGINEERS - 3 Real Life Stories...

2009-12-27T13:41:00.000+05:30

The First …

Eleven people were dangling below a helicopter on a rope. There were ten HR people and one engineer.

Since the rope was not strong enough to hold all the eleven, they decided that one of them had to let go to save all the others.

They could not decide who should be the volunteer. Finally the engineer said he would let go of the rope since engineers are used to do everything for the company. They forsake their family, don’t claim all of their expenses and do a lot of overtime without getting anything in return.

When he finished his moving speech all the HR people began to clap…

Moral:

Never underestimate the powers of the engineer.

The Second …

A group of engineers and a group of HR people take a train to a conference. Each HR person holds a ticket. But the entire group of engineers has bought only one ticket for a single passenger. The HR people are just shaking their heads and are secretly pleased that the arrogant engineers will finally get what they deserve.

Suddenly one of the engineers calls out: “The conductor is coming!”. At once, all the engineers jump up and squeeze into one of the toilets. The conductor checks the tickets of the HR people. When he notices that the toilet is occupied he knocks on the door and says: “Ticket, please!” One of the engineers slides the single ticket under the doors and the conductor continues merrily on his round.

For the return trip the HR people decide to use the same trick. They buy only one ticket for the entire group but they are baffled as they realize that the engineers didn’t buy any tickets at all. After a while one of the engineers announces again: “The conductor is coming!” Immediately all the HR people race to a toilet and lock themselves in.

All the engineers leisurely walk to the other toilet. Before the last engineer enters the toilet, he knocks on the toilet occupied by the HR people and says: “Ticket, please!”

And the moral of the story? HR people like to use the methods of the engineers, but they don’t really understand them.

The Third …

Once upon a time three HR people were walking through the woods and suddenly they were standing in front of a huge, wild river. But they desperately had to get to the other side. But how, with such a raging torrent? The first HR guy knelt down and prayed to the Lord: “Lord, please give me the strength to cross this river! "

*pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff*

The Lord gave him long arms and strong legs. Now he could swim across the river. It took him about two hours and he almost drowned several times.

BUT… he was successful!

The second HR guy, who observed this, prayed to the Lord and said: “Lord, please give me the strength AND the necessary tools to cross this river!”

*pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff*

The Lord gave him a tub and he managed to cross the river despite the fact that the tub almost capsized a couple of times.

BUT… he was successful!

The third HR man who observed all this kneeled down and prayed: “Lord, please give me the strength, the means and the intelligence to cross this river!”

*pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff*

The Lord converted the HR man into an engineer. He took a quick glance on the map, walked a few meters upstream and crossed the bridge.

Moral? You have to be an engineer to think intelligent, Otherwise…

GOD HELP YOU !

Funny Names of IT companies

2009-12-27T12:09:00.000+05:30

IT Company Full Names...just don't miss it.... :-

1. NIIT : Not Interested in IT

2. WIPRO : Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output

3. HCL : Hidden Costs & Losses

4. TCS : Totally Confusing Solutions

5. INFOSYS :Inferior Offline Systems

6. HUGHES : Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping

7. BAAN : Beggars Association and Nerds

8. IBM : Implicitly Boring Machines

9. SATYAM : Sad And Tired Yelling Away Madly

10. PARAM : Puzzled And Ridiculous Array of Microprocessors

11. C-DOT : Coffee During Office Timings

12. AT&T : All Troubles & Terrible

13. CMC : Coffee, Meals and Comfort

14. DEC : Drifting & Exhausted Computers

15. BFL : Brainwash First and Let them go

17. TISL : Totally Inconsistent Systems Ltd.

18. PSI : Peculiar Symptoms of India

19. ORACLE : On-line Romance And Chatting with Lady Employees.

20. PATNI: Pathetic Appraisal Techniques, No Increments.

21. MASTEK: Mad And Stupid Technitians Enroute to Kabaarkhana

Ants in Your Pants

2009-12-21T21:23:00.000+05:30

Men Can Do Anything

2009-12-17T21:45:00.002+05:30

Rajasthani Folk Song Padharo Mhaare Des

2009-12-17T21:28:00.002+05:30

Kesariya Balam Song

2009-12-17T21:25:00.003+05:30

Home Remedies for SWINE FLU

2009-12-17T00:29:00.004+05:30

SWINE FLU

Swine flu is spreading through out the world like a fire. It is a kind of respiratory disease that is caused by influenza type A virus. This virus is very similar to the bird flue virus and the main difference is that it is that this type of virus largely affects the pigs but, sometimes, can occur in people having close contact with pigs. Swine flu is infectious and communicable. It can easily spread from one to another through coughing and sneezing. It can affect people of all ages and can cause sore throat, chills, fever, body aches, headaches, etc.

Home Remedies for preventing Swine Flu

Only eat home cooked food to improve your bodily resistance
Avoid going to crowded places. In case of high necessity to go to such crowded places always cower your mouth with a mask and wear gloves.
Wash Your Hands with antiseptic solution: It is thought that swine flu virus can get into the inside of your body through the mouth and nose. Regular washing of your hands, particularly before a meal, with soap and warm water can prevent this. Alternately, you can also wear hand gloves before touching anything directly so as not to get infected.
Cover Your Nose and Mouth: If somebody is sneezing or coughing near you, you may want to cover your nose and mouth with the within of your palms or with your hanky. Alternately, you can wear face mask before going outside. These can prevent the virus to get entry into your system.
Giloy or amrita or tinospora – this is one of the most powerful home remedies that can prevent swine flu. Make tea of giloy or take it by mixing with triphala twice daily. It is highly recommended by Indian Yoga Guru Baba Ramdev.
Drink Lemon Balm Tea: Experts think that the anti-viral actions of lemon balm can treat swine flu. You can drink lemon balm tea two times a day.
Chew Fresh Garlic Cloves: Garlic or lasuna or garlic pearls is considered an effective antiviral. Fresh garlic cloves ( two to three ) can be chewed once everyday.
Steam Inhalation: It is also recommended that steam inhalation with eucalyptus or chamomile three times a day can relieve from jamming from the lungs. This can help in alleviating swine flu symptoms.

http://www.herbalcu reindia.com/ home-remedies- for-swine- flu.htm

Warning: The reader of this article should exercise all precautionary measures while following instructions on the home remedies from this article. Avoid using any of these products if you are allergic to it. The responsibility lies with the reader and not with the site or the writer.
The service is provided as general information only, and should not be treated as a substitute for the medical advice of your own doctor.

Football Lovers

2009-12-12T08:18:00.000+05:30

Magic show

2009-12-12T08:09:00.002+05:30

Why should we pay attention

2009-12-12T08:02:00.002+05:30

Lock your bathrooms

2009-12-12T08:00:00.001+05:30

God's Message

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SMART SENTENCES............

2009-11-24T20:54:00.000+05:30

1. God is real, unless declared integer

2. Before borrowing money from a friend, decide whether you need more.

3. Death is hereditary.

4. There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right side.

5. An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

6. Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.

7. Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

8. When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

9. Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

10. Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

11. Well done is better than well said.

12. Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody is looking.

13. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

14. If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

15. Where there's a will there are five hundred relatives.

16. Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.